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Thursday, April 23, 2020

A Heart That Blooms


                                  A Heart That Blooms


In the Spring of 2019, I walked the South West Coast Path.  Spring was chosen as the best season to see wildflowers in bloom. I hoped to avoid the rain for which England is known and also to avoid the heat of summer.  It was a good plan that worked perfectly as the wildflowers were abundant, the rain was not and the days were quite temperate.

The walk I took started out of St. Ives in Cornwall, an area that offers stunning views of the sea with incredible rock formations.  The Southwest Coast Path is 600 miles long so I  look forward to returning to enjoy more of its amazing beauty.  In addition to photographing the seascapes along the path, I took many photographs of flowers over the week that I was there--most were small and delicate with an array of colors including pinks and reds and yellows and whites.

One flower appealed to me more than the others and I admired it day after day whenever I saw it along the path. I vowed to photograph it and almost missed my chance as the above photo was taken on the last day of my walk.  It is a small flower so I had to get low to the ground to get my picture of it. I don't recall any scent.

I've pondered why I like this flower, a Bladderwort, so much because I really don't care for its name.  In my musing about it, I've come to realize that it looks like a human heart to me.  A human heart that has found a way to blossom.  A way to be open and pour forth what is inside. A  heart bursting with beauty and love. I love all flowers, especially tulips, orchids and calla lilies.  There are many to love.  Enjoying the bladderwort took me quite by surprise because it isn't flashy or brightly colored nor does it insist on being noticed.  But notice it I did and now I offer it up to you to enjoy.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

To Sing At Dawn To Sing At Dusk



“Once upon a time, when women were birds,
there was the simple understanding that
to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk
was to heal the world through joy.
The birds still remember
what we have forgotten,
that the world is meant to be
celebrated.”
~Terry Tempest Williams


  My mother died of ovarian cancer right at or just after midnight on a Thursday.  It had been a long difficult year from diagnosis to the point of departure.  She was lovely--even in those days and months that took her hair and her body weight but never her smile.  She looked ethereal in the last several months of her life though I know she would've preferred to forego that and look like her healthy robust self.  As mentioned in other posts, we were a family involved with birds as I was growing up.  Pigeons for my teenaged brothers,  an amazing baby Screech owl and a dove for me, cockatiels and parakeets for my parents.

  On the Friday morning after her death, I was astounded to find that the world continued as if nothing had happened.  As if a huge mom-shaped hole did not exist in the universe.  The family made the necessary arrangements that day and the next day, mom was buried.  She had worked with teenagers at the local high school and my favorite thing about that day, the image indelibly stamped in my mind, is that of two beach cruiser bicycles parked on the sidewalk in front of the small chapel where her service was held.  Those two girls had ridden their bikes to come say goodbye to her--teens who usually shy away from death and loss.  It was as fine a tribute as any.  The cemetery was located next to a park with a baseball field.  As mom was lowered into the earth, a loud cheer rose up from a baseball game on the other side of the stone wall.  At first, I was terribly annoyed that it had interrupted our solemn good-bye but then a friend, leaned and whispered in my ear that it was fitting for a woman who worked with kids in the Girls' P.E. department adding that mom would've loved it. 

  I showed up to my teaching job on Monday morning.  I was numb with grief but driven by a need to return to duty and normalcy. Grief deferred, I suppose.  I arrived early so as to make it down to my classroom, not stopping by the teacher's lounge.  As I walked down the hallway, I gazed off to the right.  The large grassy playground was wet with morning dew and a light blanket of leftover fog.  There standing in the middle of the vibrant green expanse of grass was a stark white egret.  So serene and elegantly beautiful. I smiled and said a hello to mom--surely this was a sign from a bird woman to her bird daughter.  

  I continued to work at that school for six more years and somehow my gaze was drawn to that spot in that field of green grass many times on many mornings.  Never again did I see a white egret there, although I longed for one to appear. 

  All birds, especially owls and finches,  figure into my sensibilities but none quite like the perfect white egret.  I see them on the bluffs by the sea in Cambria and in the fields along the highway through central California.  I see them and have photographed them at the bird sanctuary at Bolsa Chica Beach located just an hour south of my home.  Their elegance and beauty soothe me and I treasure sighting one.

   So let's celebrate birdsong at dusk and dawn and egrets and beach cruisers and loud cheers from a good play at a baseball game and to the way disparate things can intersect in our lives   Here's to a mother's love and her beautiful goodbye.  May we all be so blessed to experience all of that and more. 

*image by Viola Loretti,  from the FB page, As She Is, March 18, 2020.

Friday, March 8, 2019

Can I do this again?  Does anyone blog any more?  I like to write but hardly ever do it.  And even if no-one ever reads any of this, it is a good place for me to write to myself. Oh and yes, that is how to attach a photo.  I'll just post this and see how it looks.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Well hello there...

Well hello there, come on in--it has been such a long time since I've posted anything here.  In the interim, I have added and subtracted many things from my life.  Added is a Book Club, a Film Night, a Meditation practice and a few other things.  During the week, Thursday is the first free night for me.
Subtracted from my life is volunteering at the Hollyhock House and docenting at the Greene and Greene gallery at the Huntington Library.  I miss hanging around those beautiful places so I will have to scratch around for some other beautiful places to frequent. That will be easy here in Pasadena where there are lots of museums and libraries and bookstores.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Dare to Be Bold

Our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born. – Ralph Waldo Emerson  “Next to Resistance, rational thought is the artist or entrepreneur's worst enemy. Bad things happen when we employ rational thought, because rational thought comes from the ego. Instead, we want to work from the Self, that is, from instinct and intuition, from the unconscious.  A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. Its only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate.” - Steven Pressfield, Do the Work.         
      The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. From starting a business or quitting a job to dating someone who may not be our type or moving to a new place – getting “real” often means putting your dreams on hold.     
     Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? Write it down. Also write down the obstacles in your way of reaching your goal. Finally, write down a tangible plan to overcome each obstacle.  The only thing left is to, you know, actually go make it happen. What are you waiting for?                                                               
See, I have to disagree with that big brains/tiny hearts line.  Many people in my life have big brains and big hearts.  Take my friend, Rosemary.  She's one smart cookie.  And she listens to my worries and offers me advice.  Really good advice.  My sis-in-laws, Susan and Leslyn, have gigantimous hearts and loads of wisdom.  I've learned that about them through the years.  My husband knows all kinds of info about history and jazz and photography and he has a heart that loves dogs and birds and his family.  Perhaps I am older than some of the people doing these writing prompts but I am living my dream (well, a little more travel would be nice) each and every day. I stepped away from my career and retired early because it wasn't fulfilling any of my needs besides a paycheck.  I adjusted my needs and now have less money but so much more happiness.  I like to think I'm bold in small ways all the time.  I guess I don't go in for the big flashy bold stuff like starting up a company or inventing something new that will make me a millionaire.  I am rich beyond compare (what's with comparisons anyway?)  in my daily life with big-hearted  big-brained friends and family.  Guess my ship, err, my little boat has come in.  And it is named Joy!
                Photo taken September 2011 at Many Glaciers Hotel in Glacier National Park.  A heavenly place!

Come Alive

Come Alive by Jonathan Mead--Writing Prompt:


Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.  Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

You Are Free To Move About The Planet

 Travel by Chris Guillebeau Writing Prompt:
If we live truly, we shall see truly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson  Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?


     I have traveled to many places over the years and every single one of them has held something true and lasting for me.  I had dreamed of seeing the city of Edinburgh since I was 12 years old.  As I stood to get off the train when it pulled into that city, I glanced up and my very first view of the city thrilled me.  It was everything I had hoped it would be and more.

     They put flowers on old buildings! Just have to love a city with a wee cottage and big garden right in the middle of it all.  Well, in addition to New York City, that is.
  
     Walking along the road from the Taj Mahal in India on a dusty evening with a huge yellow moon blooming in the sky is a sweet memory I return to when I see the Autumn moon from my upstairs window.  

     The island of Santorini is still a delicious play of the blue Mediterranean sea and stark white domes every time it crosses my mind.

     Some crazy t-shirt in Dublin said there are 41 shades of green in Ireland.  I am here to tell you that it is absolutely true.  I enjoyed every one of them as I drank up the scenery from the train window.

     The south of France?   Fresh fish.  Beautiful beaches.  Beautiful people.  Croissants and coffee?  Quiches sold on street corners?  Cafe au Lait!

     There are so many more examples of colors and memories and smells from my travels but I'm supposed to write about where I want to go next, aren't I?

     Truthfully?  I don't know.  Africa holds the promise of a beautiful giraffe lifting its head languidly and batting its huge eyelashes.  Or a gerenuk flicking its tiny tail and dashing gracefully off into the landscape.  

China would most likely offer me smells and colors I can only imagine in my wildest dreams.   New Zealand seems worth the many hours in a plane that would surely leave me exhausted but excited nonetheless.  

Canada is where my mother was born and I would dearly love to visit her birthplace. 

 Friends tell me that Hawaii isn't too hard to take. 

 Costa Rica has amazing flowers.  And butterflies.  And frogs.  Maybe I should go there.  

It's obvious that I have too many places I'd like to see.  To make sure that I get there?  Save money!  Can I get back to you on this one?